Be Consistent with Routines and Expectations to Provide Security

Ever feel like your toddler is a tiny lawyer, cross-examining you about why bedtime is suddenly at 8:07 instead of 8:00? Welcome to the courtroom of 'Routine & Order.' If you crave less drama and more predictability (for your kid and your own sanity), this is your daily script—just don’t expect your three-year-old client to always stick to it.

Kids’ brains are basically little pattern-finding machines. When life is predictable, their nervous systems relax, stress hormones chill out, and the world feels less like a surprise party thrown by a caffeinated raccoon. For parents, routines mean fewer power struggles and more moments where you can pretend you have your life together.

How to do it

  1. Choose one routine to focus on, such as bedtime or morning.

  2. Write down each step of the routine, no matter how simple or obvious it seems.

  3. Announce the routine to your child with enthusiasm, as if you’re hosting a game show.

  4. Follow the steps in the same order every time, even if your child jokes or protests along the way.

  5. If you make a mistake, laugh it off and remind yourself you can always try again tomorrow.

  • Tip: Use the same silly catchphrase each time you start the routine—kids love repetition and humor!
  • Tip: Consistency helps your child know what to expect and makes routines smoother over time.

When you notice your kid starting to wind down after dinner.

Say out loud, 'Next is bath time!' and point to the chart.
Give yourself a mental fist bump or whisper, 'Nailed it,' even if nobody else notices.
Print or draw a simple routine chart (stick figures welcome) and put it where everyone can see it.

When your phone buzzes with the routine reminder.

Announce, 'It’s time for [routine step]!' with your best game show host voice.
Do a little victory dance—bonus points if your kid joins in.
Set a recurring reminder on your phone for your chosen routine time.

When you finish the last step of the routine.

Say the catchphrase and smile, no matter how tired you are.
High-five your kid or just enjoy their giggle—either counts.
Pick a silly catchphrase for the end of the routine (e.g., 'And now, the pajamas parade!').